Awesome Doctor

Haha, found this ridiculously funny joke in SGForums. Enjoy! :)

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficientmechanismof delivering vegetables to your system.. Need grain? Eat chicken.Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even moreof the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger..You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!!It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Obviously anyone can tell that I've nothing better to post on my blog. Holidays have been long expected to be damned by the school. I've really nothing to look forward to except for longer hours of sleep and weekly manga chapters.

Turmoils have yet to end...

Rants again...(edited)

I feel weak, I feel tired.

I don't know why, why we are spending time in school learning things we will most probably forget years later... The so many tons of gigabytes worth of information the school forces into our heads and attempts to squeezes every ounce of our brain juice out over the years....what are they for? We really aren't learning because we so love to, but just for the sake of learning, passing the grade and getting to the next level. I wonder though, is our future job capabilities determined by our test grades?

I'm starting to hate DHS more and more for spaming our lives with tests every week. I hate it when the school goes by conventional wisdom-More practice, more tests, more homework makes a tudent better, smarter...when I don't feel that's the case.

Tomorrow is the long and deadly Day 2 with 3 periods of facing that teacher with bi-polar disorder (assumption) who said "I hate this class" directly in front of us and having to make us anxious and panic over her mood/temper every now and then.

(edit):
Then again, maybe I shouldn't be too emo all the time since it's unhealthy. Charmaine told me to be more positive...so...
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GOGOGGO ZIXUAN YOU ROCK CAN PWN SCHOOL CAN PWN THE TESTS JUST DON'T BE CARELESS MUAHAHA I'M AWESOME LOLOLOLOL I ROCK CAN PWN CA2 SHOO HCL SHOO IT'S OKAY IT'S ALRIGHT JUST FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! I'M ALOT STRONGER NOW!

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Hmm, that felt REALLY good. :) Learnt this skill from Vivyan when she blogged something like this one day before her PW OP. :)

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Why do I have this feeling that she's going to kill me for posting this though?

For Bored People Again...

I have nothing better to do (though I am supposed to do revision for Bio Test and make an info sheet for ACE Test), so I'm posting random questions again. :)

1) What will you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
2)Who really took the bite out of the Apple logo?
3)How does Elmo hear? Elmo has no ears?
4)Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?
5)Why in a country with freedom of speech are there phone bills?
6)How can there be multiple "Final Fantasy"?
7)Why do phone companies give you a number to call if your phone doesn't work?
8.)Why do "slim chance" and "fat hope" have similar meanings?
9)Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
10)Shakesphere:"All the world's a stage." If the entire world is a stage, so...then where is our audience sitting?

That is all for now! Happy pondering! I have to go prepare my ACE info-sheet.